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Mark TwainUS humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can΄t find anybody who can tell me what they want.
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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