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Mark TwainUS humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
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